The Value in a Messy House

Sometimes I feel like this whole “perfectly imperfect” thing is our generation’s new catch phrase.  Is that just me?

Don’t get me wrong, I think it is a GREAT thing.  It’s true, each of us is perfectly imperfect.  You were designed with a purpose and uniqueness.  You bring something perfectly special to the world, even if it is not wrapped up in a perfect package.

The problem for me is that I worry that it is starting to lose meaning.IMG_0464

This morning I opened my awesome Desire Map journal, and the soul prompt was: What will you allow yourself to do today? My knee jerk answer was: Be Imperfect!

But my knee jerk doesn’t speak to my soul.  My soul has become accustomed and grateful for my imperfections.  My soul wanted something more.

How often do we say it’s ok to be yourself, but then hide ourselves anyway?  We shy away from other people, from true intimacy, afraid that if they see the real you, they won’t want to be close to you anymore.

I live with my dad.  I can’t say if it was generational or just my family, but a clean house is valued above all else.  He loves to tell the story of one Sunday when the preacher visited his house unexpectedly and my grandmother ran upstairs, too embarrassed by the state of her house to even show her face.  He laughs at that, and I do too because his laughter is infectious, but deep down, it makes me sad.

I think about all the impromptu playdates and coffee and amazing, life-changing conversations I have had in a messy house.  I think about how much I would have missed in my life if I was so embarrassed that I ran upstairs.

The Texas Hippie, homeschool, mom blog, the simple life, writer

This is actually pretty clean for our playroom

Look here, I’m messy.  Even without 3 little demon destroyers running around, a clean house has never been high on my priority list.  I’m creative.  I’m the girl who has a big smile and a hair full of flour or a fistful of paint when you walk in the door.  To me, there is so much life outside of a clean house.  Not that I knock anyone who does, I can appreciate that we all bring something different to the table.  But this is authentically me.

And there is something so freeing about saying, “This is who I am, and I’m not going to hide anymore!” in Real Time.

A while back I was at a playdate with an old friend and a new one.  Our new friend looks at us, tears welling up, and says “I just don’t know how you guys do it.”  We just looked at each other and laughed because she couldn’t have said it to two less put together people. But it stuck with me.

I don’t want people to look at me and wonder how I fit it all in.  I want them to know that I struggle, that sometimes those voices in the back of my head scream so loudly that I can’t think, that some days I can’t even bear to look at my kids because I am so frustrated or anxious or feeling like a failure or just out of damn patience.  I want people to come over to my messy house and share their messy lives and messy wisdom and messy life with me.

Because that’s intimacy.  And it is what I crave above all else.

What are you trying to hide?  Now’s your chance, share it with the world, find your tribe, and know that you are not just enough, you are MORE.

 

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